Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin and Perfectionism

Hello all, hope you're well! I wanted to write this morning about being comfortable with yourself and perfectionism. These concepts were something that was hard for me to understand for so long when I struggled with an eating disorder. In both my binging days and my anorexic days, I never felt at ease with myself. I ALWAYS wanted to be someone I wasn't, ALWAYS wanted to be skinny (never fit) and ALWAYS had a negative self-image, ALWAYS. I hid it from others well, but it was hard, really hard.  Being perfect was my own thing. It wasn't because no one told me I was beautiful (because they did), it wasn't that I was never loved for who I am, (because I was always loved) it was simply because I thought I was needed to be someone I was not. I strived to be "foolproof" by counting calories and over-exercising, and strived to keep that "perfect body" in my eyes which was a size zero. (Very unrealistic people!) I counted broccoli, wouldn't allow myself dessert, or NEVER eat something fried or pizza with friends. I felt I couldn't because I wanted to be "perfect." I wouldn't dare slip. It was the only thing I thought I could control. I thought this was the only way to be, the only way to be ideal. Has this happened to you? Or does this happen to you? If so, keep reading...

We have a tendency to always want to look like America's next top model, the new Angelina Jolie, or the beautiful Brad Pitt, but false assumptions of ourselves lead us to not being comfortable for what/who we are. Not everyone needs to be a size zero or have no hips. Not everyone has a six pack or bulging biceps, and THAT'S OK! No one is defect-less, even the stars that seem flawless aren't. I'm sure they can tell you that when it boils down to it.

When I stopped trying to be "perfect" I thought my whole world was turning upside down. My head would spin, my heart would beat fast, and my nerves would get the best of me. It was hard, really hard, until I realized there was WAY MORE TO LIFE than being someone I wasn't. I have never been a fake person EXCEPT my food addiction/obsession was fake! In order to find true happiness, I decided to change for myself, no one else. When that days comes, you'll feel so relieved and empowered to change. I'll say, it wasn't easy, but nothing is, we just have to put our minds to it. On my recovery route, there were days where trying on clothes felt uncomfortable, I thought my belly was hanging out too much, or my legs weren't "gapped" enough, but the truth of the matter is, I was  comparing myself and self-sabotaging, which I talked about here . What we see on TV, magazines, newspapers, is not reality! Check out this pic below. Totally photo-shopped...

See the difference?

So how can you get comfortable with your own skin and not get caught up in perfectionism? Practice. I preach this in all my posts, but practice, practice, practice. Something that helped me the most was setting reminders on my phone every couple of hours saying things like: "you are worthy of all things," "I honor my body," "I am strong and beautiful." (Just to name a few). I found this helpful because while at work or wherever a little reminder would ding on my phone and put a positive message in my head. By seeing these every day, it helped me gain a better understanding of why I wanted to recover and truly appreciate myself. It took some time, but then I started to realize who I was and truly found myself in the process.

Today, I will leave you with this video, which I love. It talks about perfectionism. Remember to love yourself fully, honor yourself, and treat yourself with respect! You are WORTH IT! <3

Have a wonderful day!!! <3

Please comment, like, and follow me on Facebook under "Coached by Kayla!" I appreciate each and every one of you. Let me know if you have any questions or have anything you'd like to discuss.

All the best,
Kayla